Sermon preached by Rev. Emily Tanis-Likkel, Eagle Harbor Church, UCC
August 16, 2009
Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors
There was an Englishman named John Newton who lived in the mid-1700s. He had a very devout Christian Mother who taught him to read the Scriptures and the Heidelberg Catechism at a very young age. She died when John was only seven, and he was devastated. When he became a man, he went off to sea and turned sharply against his religious upbringing. He led, in his words, a wicked life, culminating in becoming captain of a slave ship. He packed the African people in his ship as tightly as books on a shelf. He was a drunk, and was cruel to his crew and the slaves. One day he found a copy of Thomas a kempis' “Imitation of Christ”, and began to read it. He thought about the state of his life and character. Suddenly a great storm erupted and the ship threatened to sink. Scripture verses his mother had taught him sprung into his mind. John cried out, “Lord have mercy upon us.” He shocked himself by this prayer that came from his lips—he did not believe in God's mercy! But he realized that God's grace was with him. He made peace with God, left his life as a slave trader, and at the age of 39 became a pastor. He wrote an autobiographical song that captured how sweet God's grace is to those who have gone astray. Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me. Forgiveness begins with the realization of how merciful God has been with us. It is because God has forgiven us that we are able to forgive one another.
“Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.” The asking for forgiveness and the action of forgiveness are inextricably linked in this petition. Do you notice how this prayer holds us responsible? Forgive us, as we forgive. Do we really want God to use the same sort of forgiveness that we humans use? One of the books I read on the Lord's Prayer describes the human measures of forgiveness. The stinging eyedropper of forgiveness is dispensed when the debtor repents, confesses that they alone are responsible for the offense, and admit that they are worth less than the one they offended. The medicinal teaspoon of forgiveness is given with the reminder that the one offended will continually remind the other of the offense. The bitter cup of forgiveness is given with the message that if that sin is committed again, forgiveness will be withheld. God does not use these measures to forgive us, but forgives us from a bottomless bucket. In the Lord's Prayer, we are praying to expand our measures of forgiveness to be like God's limitless forgiveness. Micah 7 says to God: “you do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy.” God does not forgive begrudgingly or with conditions. In this petition, we shed our desire to appear as if we have it all together. We come before God just as we are, and are forgiven.
It is by God's grace that we are forgiven, and living in grace nourishes us, enables us to live in harmony with others. God wants us to be forgiving people. The constricting forces of unforgiveness are toxic to our bodies, minds and spirits. Forgiveness crumbles the prison walls that had contained both parties. Alexandra Asseily, founder of the Garden of Forgiveness in Beirut, wrote, “Forgiveness allows us to actually let go of the pain in the memory, and if we let go of the pain in the memory, we can have the memory, but it doesn't control us. When the memory controls us, we are then puppets of the past.” A puppet of the past is to be without freedom, it is for our hearts to be constricted. When forgiveness builds a bridge of reconciliation between people, our capacity for living life fully is expanded. India Arie in her song “Wings of Forgiveness” sings, “I'm only human. Let's shake free this gravity of resentment; And fly high, and fly high; You're only human; Let's shake free this gravity of judgment; And fly high on the wings of forgiveness.
But how do we forgive? Forgiveness does not come by us naturally, we need to learn it. We teach our children that accepting an apology is not the same as being a door-mat. In the forgiveness curriculum used in schools in Ireland, where so much anger has divided Catholics and Protestants, students are taught to be tough-minded yet tender-hearted. Forgiveness often does not happen all at once, but rather is a process. It is learned not just by individuals, but whole communities. The Amish are a remarkable example of a forgiving community. Forgiveness education for the Amish needs no curriculum, because it is modeled and passed on through the generations. A forgiving attitude is something that they ask God for daily. When tragedy strikes, such as the murder of five Amish children a few years ago, the pain is absorbed by the entire community. Forgiveness is easier when no one has to carry the hurt alone. Galatians 6 reads, “My friends, if anyone is detected in a transgression, you who have received the Spirit should restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness. . . Bear one another's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”
In my study this past week I learned how some people naturally have more forgiving personalities than others. You can even take an on-line quiz to gauge your own. If some people are not naturally forgiving, what are they to do? And what about repenting our own sin – how do we begin? Many tools are at our disposal to help in the process of forgiveness.
Scripture meditation is a powerful way to come to a better understanding of what needs repentance. Beginning in prayer, we can open ourselves to allow God to speak wisdom through the Bible. We can read just a verse or two and then pause to reflect on it. The Psalms and the Gospels are good places to start. Our meditation may lead us to reconcile with another if possible and appropriate.
Another tool we can use in forgiving others is to pray for God to bless the person who caused the hurt. We can say a silent blessing such as, “May God bless you and guide you always. May you come to a greater understanding of who you are and who you are called to be.” I have experienced profound change in my life from praying blessings for those who have hurt me. Some years ago I often found myself being harassed by strangers. A woman in one of my Seminary classes offered to pray for me one day. Not knowing anything about the harassment, she told me that she sensed I was withholding unforgiveness. In talking with her, I realized it was these strangers. She advised me to begin blessing any stranger who harassed me. It was amazing. Not only did it take the sting out of the hurt, but before long the harassment stopped entirely. There is so much power in the blessing of our enemies.
One hands-on tool for forgiveness is the development of Forgiveness Gardens. Forgiveness Gardens originated first in Beirut, Lebanon and then Ground Zero in New York City. Many more individuals and groups have been inspired by these and have planted gardens to symbolize their striving for forgiveness. Gardens of Forgiveness are peaceful places for reflection where people can acknowledge the pain felt by individuals or as communities, and then strive to let it go and move on. A Garden of Forgiveness could be a community-wide effort, or it could be a spot in a back-yard or porch. Even a miniature garden can be a Garden of Forgiveness.
If you are more comfortable tapping a keyboard than digging in the dirt, I commend to you an on-line forgiveness ritual at www.loveandforgive.org. This ritual uses the lotus flower image, commonly used for meditation, and asks a series of questions that takes one through various images and inspiring statements, and then an opportunity to type in the hurt, and decision to erase it.
In the documentary film, The Power of Forgiveness, Pres Felix, a Southern Baptist man and Azim Khamisa, a Sufi Muslim, would not have crossed paths under normal circumstances. But the day that Pres' Grandson Tony, at age 14, shot and killed Azim's 19-year-old son Tariq over a pizza, their lives became forever entertwined. Azim followed the Muslim teaching to mourn for 40 days, and then sought reconciliation with Pres Felix. They came to peace with each other, and with Tony who was the first youth in California to be tried as an adult, and was serving time in prison. Tony was greatly moved by Azim's capacity to forgive, and said in an interview, if the father of the man I killed can forgive me, I certainly can forgive the people in my life who have hurt me – speaking especially of his parents who abandoned him. Pres and Azim not only reconciled, but became best friends. They now teach forgiveness education to youth, and advocate for ending the death penalty. Azim said, “Stretch your imagination: if all the conflicts in the world could be resolved like Pres and me, what would our world look like?”
In a moment I am going to invite you to come forward and write a message of forgiveness on a river stone – the words “forgive us, as we forgive,” perhaps, or “Stretch your imagination,” or “We are forgiven.” Please take it home with you as a reminder of God's grace, and our striving to be forgiving people. I was surprised by how the preparing of these stones became a sacred ritual. I went across the street from my house to Ace Hardware yesterday, pulling my son Day in a wagon. The only bags of river stones they had were torn open, and in the store clerks words, were in shabby shape. But I bought one and added it to the wagon and pulled my heavy load home. And so many of us feel battered by what life throws our way, so needing forgiveness, reconciliation and renewal. When we got home, Day and I chose some of the stones out of the bag and washed them. As the bucket of water turned dark and ugly, I imagined Papa God washing away all our hurt, our pain, our failings. Mama God scrubbing with persistence and determination, creating new life in us. Then I took each stone and cleaned them individually, asking God's blessing for whomever would end up with that one. Take a moment and ask God, what message of forgiveness do you have for me?
The Prayer of Jesus: The Lord's Prayer in a Culture of Prosperity, by James Mulholland.
The Power of Forgiveness (Documentary Film), 2007.
The Power of Forgiveness
The Power of Forgiveness